I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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