This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
