weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
