was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
