Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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