This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize