i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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