What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
