Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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