It's Friday. Sex?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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