Do you still have your period?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
