I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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