i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
