yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
