how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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