and she was petting her beer can
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
