My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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