its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
