you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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