therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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