this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
