How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
