found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
