You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
