Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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