Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
