All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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