Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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