The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
