Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize