i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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