They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
