My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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