We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
