Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
