took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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