Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think I am morally bankrupt
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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