I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That's when you crack a 10am beer
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
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He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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