Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
