So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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