My liver just broke up with me...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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