would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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