so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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