I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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