Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize