How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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