I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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