that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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