Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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