So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
