sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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