my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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