I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
