people are starting to question the shark bite story
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
