3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize