DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
