i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize