You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
