I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
