You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
