babies were throwing up all over the place
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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