A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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