For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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