Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
