as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
