i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
