Your mouth is God's brothel.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
