im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
