Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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