I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
